Hope (Chapter 7)

[amythest_n_ice]

 

http://amythest-n-ice.livejournal.com/23971.html
Link to Part 6
http://amythest-n-ice.livejournal.com/31475.html
Link to Part 8
*************************************

 

Jack sat on the edge of the bed in the med bay, waiting for the Doctor to come in to start a scan. He ran his fingers lightly over the swell of his stomach, feeling his child shift inside, in response to the touch. In a few months, the baby would be born, and he still had no idea what was going to happen after that.

 

The Doctor stood in the doorway, leaning against the frame, watching him. He realized that even though he was treating Jack better, he was still hurting him, still leaving him dangling, with no idea what was going to happen after the birth. He had no way of planning a future for him and the baby, because he didn’t know where the goalposts were. He felt Ianto at his shoulder and stepped back from the doorway, turning to face the younger human.

 

“I don’t have until the birth to figure it out, do I?”

 

“No. The more advanced the pregnancy gets, the more not knowing is weighing him down. I know it was me that advised you to think about it, I’m sorry.”

 

“No, this is atypical behavior for him, he always just dealt and ploughed on before.”

 

“This is hardly a typical situation for him though, is it?”

 

“He’s been pregnant before.” The Doctor winced as the unguarded comment came out. He actually felt Ianto’s double take.

 

“I found out from a medical scan, not long after he came on board the first time. Don’t ask him about it Ianto, he doesn’t need the reminder of that right now.”

 

“When was it?”

 

“Around the time he left the Time Agency. The stress brought on premature labor, his baby was stillborn. I’m not letting him get that stressed again, I’m not doing that to him,” the Doctor said, determined.

 

“So what are you going to do?” Ianto asked.

 

“Take a risk.” The Doctor strode into the med bay, grinning at Jack as he pulled the scanner to the edge of the bed.

 

“Right, let’s see what our little one is up to in there.”

 

Jack stared at him, startled for a moment, and then he lay back on the bed, looking at the Doctor.

 

“You’re in a good mood.”

 

“Yes, yes I am Jack.” The Doctor paused in setting up the machine, and looked down at the immortal.

 

“I’m sorry I’ve been such an ass, that I’ve hurt you so much,” he said, carding his fingers through the thick hair lightly.

 

“What?”

“Jack, I know that I haven’t given you any reason at all to trust me, that I’ve hurt you badly, but I would like to try to make this work between us.”

 

“Why now?”

 

“Because I don’t like hurting you. Jack, don’t try to decide now, I want you to think about it, think about what will be best for you and our baby. If you want to stay here with me, if you want to go back to Earth after the baby is born, if you want me to drop you off somewhere else. This has to be your choice.”

 

“Have you been at the Tavenan Coffee?”

“No. I’m more serious than I have ever been in my life. I am not going to take away all your options again, this will be your choice.”

 

“Do you love me, Doctor, or is this just because you feel guilty for running from me, abandoning me, trying to run again, sleeping with me as a distraction from the Master’s death and getting me pregnant?”

 

“I love you.” The Doctor sat on the edge of the bed, looking down at the floor.

 

“I always loved you, hearing you die on the game station was like a knife being driven through both my hearts. Then when I felt what you became when Rose brought you back, felt the fabric of the universe warp around you, I ran. I ran because I loved you Jack, I ran because that close after a regeneration, while I was unbalanced, I wouldn’t have been able to suppress the impulse to destroy you. Back then, immediately after it happened, before your immortality was cemented, I would have been able to kill you. So I ran, and kept on running, because every day, it got a little harder to face the thought of seeing that look in your eyes, the one you had at the end of the universe, accusation, betrayal, hate.”

 

“I never hated you. Yes I was angry, I felt betrayed, but all that time, I was looking for you, and much as I wanted to, I couldn’t hate you.”

 

“So, you’ll think about it, think about what you want?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Good, let’s do this scan then. We should be able to see the gender in this scan, do you want to know?”

 

“No. If you want to know, that’s OK, Ianto too. I don’t want to know.”

 

“All right, TARDIS, can you hide the gender of the baby in any scan results that Jack or I see. Ianto can choose to know if he wishes.” The Doctor felt the TARDIS agree to the request in the back of his head and nodded to Jack.

 

“What about Martha?” Jack asked.

 

“Up to you, but if none of us know, she shouldn’t. If Ianto wants to know, and you don’t mind, he can tell her.”

 

“That sounds OK.” Jack agreed.

 

The Doctor did the started the scan, and the TARDIS edited the results before sending them to the screen on the scanner, blurring out the area that would give away the gender of the unborn child.

 

“He or she is perfectly healthy. Your pregnancy seems to be progressing a little faster than we thought, I don’t think that you are going to go to 39 weeks. I’d say more 30, 32, judging by the growth rate between the last scan and this one. It may be a result of the changes in your body after your change.”

 

“Are you saying that I only have another 8 or 10 weeks before I deliver, not 19?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“You’re sure everything is all right? I can’t…. I can’t.” Jack choked off, and the Doctor saw panic flaring in his eyes.

 

“Hey, I promise Jack, I promise, the baby is developing at an accelerated rate. It will not be premature at 30 weeks.”

 

“OK.” Jack fought to get his panic under control, evening out his breathing.

 

“Good, you take it easy for a minute, and I’ll find Ianto and get him to walk you back to your rooms. I don’t want to you to be alone, and I’m going to start looking for a safe world to set down on.”

 

“Why?”

 

“I don’t know, just a feeling. We should get out of the vortex before it’s time for you to deliver.”

 

“As long as you don’t think the baby is at risk, then I’ll go with it.”

 

Ianto was still in the corridor when the Doctor came out of the room, and his eyes were filled with pain when he looked up at the Doctor.

 

“So, you and he are going to make a go of it?” Ianto asked.

 

“It’s up to him. I told him how I feel, he knows how you feel. I told him to choose whatever path would be best for him and the baby.” The Doctor reached out and cupped one of Ianto’s cheeks lightly.

 

“Whatever he decides Ianto, you know he’ll always need you, right? You balance him, center him, me too, for that matter. He’s waiting for you to walk him back to your rooms, get him to rest if you can.” The Doctor abruptly shook off the serious mood, kissed Ianto’s forehead and bounced off down the corridor.

 

Ianto stared down the corridor for a couple of minutes after the Doctor had vanished out of sight, then pulled himself together, and went to take care of Jack, forcefully ignoring the odd, fluttery feeling in his stomach that until now, only Jack had ever made him feel. Him starting to fall for the Time Lord was the last thing any of them needed.

 

 

tbc J